Main | December 2004 »

Oops -- I spilled body wash on the SCSI port!

Patterico snarks amusingly at Brian Williams for saying bloggers "are on an equal footing with someone in a bathroom with a modem." Well, look, Brian -- you big-time media muckety-mucks talk about about having a story "in the can," why can't we? Come on -- 'in' the can, 'on' the can, what's the difference?

Don't knock bathroom-blogging. I personally think of all of my best posts in the shower. 'Course it plays hell on the keyboard, and the noise of the modem is ear-splitting when it echoes on the tiles, but that's how we bloggers do things. You know: In the bathroom. With a modem. A 1200 baud modem, as a matter of fact. 'Cause we're all unemployed and we spent our last grudging largesse from mom on pajamas, and anyway 1200 baud is fast enough when you're enjoying a nice hot shower. With the keyboard clutched in one hand. And a soapy loofah in the other.

Oh, and a note to the author of the article: Don't you dare call me a "self-styled journalist." It's "soi-disant journalist" to you, pal.

Update: Hindrocket at PowerLine relates an odd encounter with Williams and asks:

What's next, nude blogging from our hot tubs?

Two predictions: First, I will get a pathetically large number of Google hits just for repeating the strings "nude blogging" and "hot tubs."

Second, it won't be long before some enterprising soul combines the nude webcam concept with the blogging concept, and starts blogging in real time on a webcam while nude in a hot tub.

Please, don't let it be Oliver Willis.

Update: INDC Journal has a photo of Brian Williams' vision.

Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.

Fake bands, from the Banana Splits to the Way-Outs

Someone with apparently limitless time and patience has chronicled just about every fake band known to man. The focus is on TV and movies, but the Miscellaneous section includes fake bands from novels. They even include fake bands mentioned by real songs, like "Benny and the Jets" and "Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars."

Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.

Thank you, anonymous Google-searching person

Most of my hits from searches seem to come from the Bangbus post of a week or so ago. It's probably too much to hope that any of the Bangbus searchers stick around to read any of this blog's other content.

But my favorite search to date is this beauty:

Michael + Moore + Loser + And + Liar

Anonymous Google searcher, whoever you are, I hope you found what you were looking for here.

Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.

O'Reilly aims for new shark-jumping record

Wizbang rightly rags on O'Reilly for defending Dan Rather. Kevin suggests O'Reilly is afraid to throw stones because of his own sex-scandal glass house. I don't think so; I seem to recall he was already defending Rather before his own situation blew up in his face. And I don't see the situations as analogous at all. O'Reilly's scandal was based on a personal peccadillo, and a fairly tame one at that, even if you believe his accuser was an innocent victim (which I don't). Rather brazenly used fraudulent evidence to peddle lies about a sitting President, with the aim of taking down his presidency. And he continues to stonewall unrepentantly. If he had a single atom of self-respect, he would have fallen on his sword in September, crying out a mea culpa to the President and the entire country.

I've always been a desultory watcher of O'Reilly, if I watched at all. But he's developed a kind of weirdness-charisma for me. It's as if there's some kind of slow, interminable trainwreck going on in the man's mind. He's started to behave so strangely — recommending Bill Clinton for Secretary of State?  — and yet, I believe he thinks there's some method to his madness. He seems to be angling for something; what is it? After helping to pioneer one of the most influential arms of "new media," why regress to aligning himself with extinction-bound dinosaurs like CBS and Rather? Who knows? Maybe now that he's clawed his way to the top, he doesn't know where to go from here. At this rate, he's going to claw himself to the bottom again.

This new "I'll say one loony-left thing, and one rabble-rousing right-wing thing, and this way both sides will love me" schtick seems transparent and ultimately self-destructive to me. And it's not the first self-destructive bender O'Reilly's been on lately, as we know. But then they say each man hurts the one he loves most.

Oreillymirror



Oh, you handsome devil in the mirror there  —
I know I can't trust you, but I just can't stop loving you!




Update: Ace agrees with Wizbang that O'Reilly defends the indefensible because he's got some indefensible baggage of his own:

I would suggest that he began this campaign against "smear merchants" in order to insulate himself against his own coming scandal, one he knew about but which his audience did not.

I don't know; I suppose it's plausible, but I seem to recall that things went from hunky-dory to legal death struggle very quickly with his producer. I don't think the situation was brewing long enough for him to have concocted a left turn as self-defense.

My suspicion is that, along with whatever grand scheme he has in mind, there are a few specific reasons he started attacking the "smear merchants," especially during the campaign. First, I suspect he was hedging his bets in case Kerry won. Second, he appears to have believed, delusionally, that he had a shot at interviewing Kerry. (Though that may have been a publicity stunt so he could claim Kerry feared his tough, take-no-prisoners style. Predictably, after the election, he claimed one of the reasons Kerry lost was because he'd refused to appear on the Factor.)

Third — and I'm just guessing here — he had a special reason to attack the Swift Boat Vets and defend Kerry. Vietnam has got to be a sore spot for any male of a certain age who didn't serve. Especially for a very high-profile hawk like O'Reilly. Anything short of "how dare these liars attack a Vietnam hero" would have opened him up to accusations of draft-dodging. That's no excuse; I can't admire someone for tailoring their commentary so it best covers their own ass, as if news has value only in how much it can aggrandize or undermine them personally. But I believe that was the rationale behind O'Reilly's attacks on the Swifties.

Now he can claim that he doesn't have to discuss his scandal, because he won't give the "smear merchants" time on his show, and that's a principled position he's strongly believed in for, oh, three or four months or so.

No need to make this claim; the terms of his legal settlement with his ex-producer appear to forbid either one from ever speaking publicly of the matter. That's a pretty airtight excuse for avoiding the topic.

O'Reilly occasionally he does ask tough questions of those who need asking, and he's pretty good about animating America about important issues. I don't get his "Guards on the border" fetish, but I'm thankful for his promotion of the boycott-France movement.

I do agree with Ace on this. The big O certainly isn't all bad, and I don't wish any ill on him. What I wish, in fact, is that he'd snap the hell out of whatever bizarro midlife crisis he's going through, and rejoin the rest of us on planet Earth, where he can do some good.

Update: Democracy Project has proposed a new name for incidents like O'Reilly's defense of Rather.

Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.

New Feature! Yiddish Proverb Sundays! Read, so you should learn!

You asked for it!* Regular readers** wanted to see some weekly features, and I'm only too happy to oblige. So today I inaugurate...

Yiddish Proverb Sundays!

Unless noted, all proverbs will be from the 1970 book "1001 Yiddish Proverbs," by Fred Kogos.

I'll start the series with the last proverb in the book:

Altsding lozst zich ois mit a gevain.

Everything ends in weeping.

That's got to be the ur-proverb, right there. Could be pulled straight from Ecclesiastes, and for all I know it is. There it is, distilled into a few words, hard and sharp as diamonds: Ladies and gentlemen, the human condition.

This might be a good time to note that I don't speak Yiddish. Several people have called me an honorary Jew, though. Perhaps that's why these proverbs speak to me; I mean, the human condition is the human condition, but some cultures face it a little more squarely than others. And with a little more humor, might I add.

(Language nerd stuff coming up. Avert your eyes if you are sensitive to dorkiness or products processed in a dorkiness-processing facility.)

I'm going to include the Yiddish version whenever I can, because the originals often have lilting cadences and rhymes that don't carry over into the translation. (I imagine anyone with even a slight familiarity with the sound of spoken Yiddish or German could easily "hear" what the Yiddish might sound like.) Plus, I like spotting English cognates. In this example, there's Altsding ("all things") and gevain (sounds like "whine," certainly shares a root). And I'm guessing lozst shares DNA with "lost."

(Okay, the dorkiness-sensitive can resume reading now. If you are a dorkiness-sensitive patron and you got any of the above paragraph in your eyes, please proceed immediately to the nearest eye-wash station, where your eyeballs will be flushed with issues of Maxim and Sports Illustrated until all traces of dorkiness have been expunged. Thank you.)

* No you didn't.
** Of which I had, at last count, between 0 and  23, depending on whether you count the voices in my head.
If the voices in my head do count as regular readers, and I don't know why they shouldn't, then this statement is true.

Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.

Barnes and Noble cooking the books?

Power Line, of course, beats me to the punch on this news flash: Wow, bookstores sure are different since the election!

I had the exact same experience described in the above link; the difference in Brooklyn was startling and radical. For years, literally years, the encroachment of anti-Bush books had been progressing. Eventually, I stopped going to bookstores altogether. I used to love browsing the neighborhood Barnes & Noble, but I had to give it up; it started to feel like crawling through no-man's land, blasted from all sides. Instead, I gave a couple thousand dollars' worth of business to Amazon.

It's hard to describe the hostile, oppressive feeling of entering a bookstore where all the stacks, displays, and promotions blare at you: Bush lied! — America sucks! — 'Terrorist' attack? We deserved it! — You're a bigot unless you believe as we do! — The election was stolen! — Where are the wings? — Bush won't rest until everyone is dead and the earth is a barren wasteland!, etc. But try finding, say, a Hugh Hewitt book, and you'll need spelunking equipment and a headlamp to chip through the layers of "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them" and "Dude, Where's My Country?"

All along, I've had a lot of questions about this phenomenon.

  • Are these displays dictated from headquarters or are they left to the discretion of the local managers?
  • Is the political weighting of the displays dictated by local factors — say, local voting patterns? (That's the charitable interpretation.) Or is it dictated by someone's political leanings, either at the local or national level?

The easy way to get an honest answer to this question would be to see what's on display in red cities in red states. I'd like to believe that the jamming of liberal books down customers' throats is purely a matter of demographics; after all, you wouldn't have a huge display of Yankees books in Boston, would you?

But I have that little muttering, paranoid voice in my head that tells me there may be more than strictly commercial considerations here. Anyone out there know the real score?

Anyway, it's all different now. The anti-Bush books have vanished, and not a trace of the looming displays remains. I can shop in a real-live bookstore again without feeling I'm on enemy turf. And I can walk back home swinging my bag of new books jauntily to the melodious sound of the forlorn flapping of "We The People SAY NO To The Bush Agenda" rainbow banners against the facades of million-dollar houses.

Flag


What you mean "we," kemo sabe?



Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.

EtherHouse: Seethe Hour

"Seethe Hour" is but one of many anagrams for "EtherHouse."

I've always been fascinated by word games, and anagrams are one of my favorites. A really suitable anagram is more than just wordplay -- it seems to reveal hidden truths about its subject.

Like "I, Rearrangement Servant" -- an anagram for Internet Anagram Server, a site I love to waste time at. There are other anagram sites, but this remains my favorite because of its simplicity, speed and power. I do find that the human touch is required to polish the suggestions of the program, but it does most of the hard work for you.

More EtherHouse anagrams:

Treehouse "H".  Any Simpsons fan will recognize this nickname for the "Treehouse of Horror" series.

There, sue OH.  We all know Bush stole the state with the help of his minions at Diebold. Let the writs fly!

He tore US, eh?  Our Canadian neighbors express their typically meddlesome opinion about the starkly divided electoral map.

Hetero hues.  Hey, I can't help the sexual orientation I was born with! Lighten up, anti-breeder bigots!

Sheer Tue OH.  Yes, Ohio was a tight race indeed on Tue Nov 3. I believe they didn't call it, in fact, until early Wed morning.

Cover

 


Hush Roe tee.  I'm as pro-choice as the next person, but really: these kinds of garments do more harm than good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.

Ave Atque Vale, Dan Rather/Giving thanks for a blissful November

Oh, wait a minute. "Ave atque vale" means "hail and farewell." What's the Latin expression for "goodbye and good riddance"?

Lexington's column in the Economist is a charmingly snarky send-off for the live-action Kent Brockman. Here's the opening paragraph:

FOR conservative America, it just keeps on getting better. A mere 20 days after the Republicans' clean sweep of the White House and Congress, the American right celebrated the retirement of one of the hated grandees of liberal journalism, Dan Rather. “It's as if the voters just keep on voting,” says one conservative. “And our side just keeps on winning.”

Oh, God, yes. I've been brushing fluffy bits of Cloud Nine off my shoes since about 2:30 AM on November 3rd. I've actually had to fight off anxious feelings that everything's going so well it's only a matter of time until disaster strikes. Seriously; having been so vigilant and tense for so long has made anxiety a hard habit to shake.

Perhaps some of you are dealing with the same "so when's the brutal payback?" anxieties. I'll tell you how I decided to look at it: This November is the payback. The payback for September 11. The payback for having to listen to "selected, not elected" for four years. The payback for enduring the "anybody but Bush" crowd; the payback for Hillary being my senator; the payback for a liberal-dominated sort of media Tammany Hall that already existed long before I was born; the payback for everything the placard-carriers of the 60s went on to do as "grownups" to screw up our country and our lives.

Heh.TM

Lexington concludes on this note:

Mr Rather's passing does not mean that the liberal orthodoxy is about to give way to a new conservative one. It means that all orthodoxies are being chewed up by a voraciously unpredictable news media, which is surely all to the good.

Yep, nothing but good news. The last thing any conservative should want is a conservative orthodoxy in the media. Liberals still haven't realized that their control of the MSM made conservative samizdat a burning necessity and instilled a sense of urgency in those who managed to find it on AM radio, on cable, or on the internet. Forbidden thoughts are always the most compelling, no?

And the MSM, bless 'em, did something even more potent to destroy the left: they became a giant echo chamber that reflected the political and social echo chamber liberals already tend to live in. So the chattering classes turned on their TVs, heard echoes of echoes, and believed they were listening to the voice of America. And the MSM helped them by piling on any non-left voice that dared to make itself heard. Fox News? Ranting lunatics, controlled by Bush. Talk radio? You mean hate radio. Bloggers? Pajama-clad losers.

So as I give abundant thanks today for this November, my fondest wish for the future is that the media continues to descend into a cacophony. May we never again be held in thrall to a single voice. May we never again be able to completely ignore opposition views. And if there should ever be a monolithic media voice again, let it once more be a liberal one, and make it loud. We don't want them to hear us coming.

"Heh" is a trademark of the Instapundit International Sinister Rightwing Consortium.

 

Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.

"Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure!": A Review.

Just got back from seeing Dave Gorman's one-man show, "Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure!", at the Village Theatre on Bleecker St. I confess I have no special attraction to the lone-raconteur-on-stage genre, but I do find it fascinating in its simplicity. When you strip every bit of the unnecessary glitz from theatrical performance, you end up back at the origins of theatre: Just a guy telling a story in as involving a way as he can.

Gorman's story is lighthearted, but no less of a saga than anything written in Greek or Old Icelandic. The plot: Lone man, through odd combination of circumstances, is forced into a quest that takes him to far-off lands where he meets strange characters and attempts to enlist their help as he races against time to complete his mission. Sound familiar?

Joseph Campbell would have had a field day with this show. Perhaps, like me, he would have been fascinated by the idea that a hero's quest can now be undertaken in cyberspace as well as meatspace. Gorman's quest occurs in both worlds simultaneously.

Continue reading ""Dave Gorman's Googlewhack Adventure!": A Review." »

Bangbus (et al) fakes? I'm shocked -- SHOCKED!

Wizbangbus spotlights a hilarious item: An expose of "sex in a van" websites. Turns out the porn makers are -- shock of shocks -- not really driving around picking up random "hot" girls on the street, paying them for sex, and dumping them afterwards! My trust in the porn industry is shattered!

Now what could have given the sham away? Was it the fact that no sane woman, no matter how promiscuous or broke, would get into a random van and drive away with random strangers who had announced their intention of having sex with her? Or was it the fact that all of these women -- "grad students", most of them -- just happen to have the patented plastic pornstar look, down to pubes shaved into a gross little landing strip? Just by coincidence?

Or perhaps fake breasts, ridiculously styled tiny remnants of body hair, and a fondness for group sex with strangers really are characteristic of a typical "horny, broke student."

Honestly, if you can't trust porn movies to be 100% authentic, what is this world coming to? Oh well. At least I can still put my faith in such stalwart beacons of honesty as the government, Hollywood, and CBS News. I mean, some things are sacred.

Click here to go to EtherHouse's new home: www.etherhouse.com.