Continued from Part I.
Okay. This is the part where I swear that I am not obsessed with
politicians' baskets. Also the part where I mention that I am not in
any way sexually attracted to Bush or Cheney. Not that there's anything
wrong with that. With those caveats out of the way....
I stumbled on a Village Voice article on the POTPOTUS. (That's my
new suggested acronym for the Package of the President of the United
States. It's kind of like a pompatus, as I imagine it. You know, the
Pompatus of Love?)
Anyway, I figured maybe the happenstance of stumbling on this May 21, 2004 Voice article meant I should update my earlier post. Leave it to the Voice to
lend, well, a weighty heft to this topic. I thought the whole thing was
a larf, but Richard Goldstein sees a sinister plot for bulge-enhancing
photo-ops in the famous "Mission Accomplished" flight suit:
Clearly Bush's handlers want to leave the impression that he's not just
courageous and competent but hung. Why is this message important to
send? That's a very salient question, if only because it's unlikely to
be addressed.
I love this. I just love the exceedingly improbable image of Dubya's
handlers fussing and futzing with his jewels, stuffing a sock in his
jock, bunching up his 'nads just so, floofing out his crotch-fabric so
it catches the light magnifcently. "Hold on a sec, Mr. President. I
think you're flopping to the left, and heaven knows we don't want that!"
But something about Bush's image seems as artificially enhanced as his
crotch. His need to flaunt it can be read as a response to anxiety. If
you have to show your balls, maybe it's because you can't take them for
granted. That isn't just Bush's problem. If macho seems so
tragicomically x-treme these days, it's because many men think
masculinity could actually disappear."
X-treme"? D00d! Multiple choice question: The use of "x-treme" for "extreme" here is meant to represent
- Bush's Xtianity?
- The writer's mad skillz at X-Box gamez?
- A subtle invocation of "generation X"?
- The writer's current state: Trippin' his ass off on X?
It's impossible for someone here in Jesusland, Brooklyn, to understand this confounded citified Voice-speak,
so the answer must remain a mystery. Moving on, I find it fascinating
that Goldstein looks at Bush's basket and sees reflected therein all of
the state of manhood in today's changing world. That's some meaningful
package there, Richard. (May I call you "Dick"?)
He represents a model that invites female initiative and counsel but
not control. This is the Dred Scott compromise of our time, and it's
evident in Bush's administration as well as in his marriage to an
intelligent woman who knows how to stay three steps behind her husband.
I'm sure Goldstein would say the same thing even today. For the
Bush-haters, Condi Rice as Secretary of State is nothing but another
powerless, shackled yes-woman. (Note the Dred Scott namecheck? Nice touch. Remember, as John Lennon said (or was it Marx?): "Woman is the Nigger of the World.")
Sure, sure, it's all very well that Bush invites "female initiative and
counsel," it makes for feel-good photo-ops, but the folks at the Voice see right through it. (But wait, hold on -- why should Bush "invite female control"? Isn't the President supposed
to be in control? Aren't the Libs constantly distressed because, they say, "Cheney is
pulling the strings" or "Rove is Bush's brain"? Would they feel better
if one of the behind-the-scenes string-pullers were a female? Is that
it? Oh, darn. Liberals are so danged hard to please! If only they'd
just say straight out what they want, instead of making the world
guess! But I digress.)
But Bush also embodies the primal uncertainty many men feel in the face
of sexual change. This angst, which threatens to pop up like a sour
belch, solidifies his bond with threatened men. They identify with his
struggle to carry off the feat of macho, and many women empathize with
that effort.
I believe this may have been an early, abortive attempt to
pre-emptively create a "why we lost in '04" meme: "The
Castration-Fearers all voted for Bush!" (Think back to the "Angry
White Men Goaded by Rush Limbaugh" meme that was meant to explain the
'94 midterm losses.)
Goldstein goes on to explain why, really, to anyone with any brains and
an eye for more than stuffed crotches, Kerry is the true macho man in
the contest. He concludes with:
Fasten your crotch straps. With luck, we're in for a bumpy ride.
Oh, Dick! I feel all... light-headed. Ooh!
